Mountains and Valleys

I usually hate “Mountain top – Valley” or “Desert – Promised Land” analogies, because I think they obscure more than they reveal. It is absolutely true that in life we walk through times when things are going our way and we feel unstoppable, and times when we feel unnoticed or trapped in impossible circumstances….thus the mountain top and the valley. While they can accurately describe the external reality, I feel like this metaphor can be used to normalize situations that are not supposed to be normal.

Did Israel’s desert season really have to be a desert? I mean, they were being led by God, he was miraculously providing for all of their needs and leading them into the promised land. Doesn’t sound like a desert to me! Sounds like a beautiful time to encounter God and enjoy his provision! Why do people hate deserts? Because they are cold at night, hot in the day, and it’s hard to find food and water. With the Israelites, God led them by a cloud in the day (providing shelter from the heat) a pillar of fire by night (warming them in the cool nights) and caused food to drop from heaven and water to spring up from rocks! So all of the reasons that people hate deserts were not actual factors in this desert. God had made this desert a place of provision, and if they had eyes to see it, a pleasant oasis even! The only desert that existed was in the minds of the people journeying!

In terms of feeling the presence of God, there can be valleys and mountain tops too.  In one particularly difficult season of my life, I had spent a long time in the valley and was doing everything I knew to get back to the mountain top (including going to a catholic hermitage for 5 days of solitude and prayer). It didn’t work.  In frustration and depression, I called out to God, saying “I can’t feel you!!!” Then I heard in my spirit (still void of any supernatural warmth) a voice that said, “but I’m here”. Suddenly it clicked for me that I was going by my feelings to determine if God was there or not….but in reality, he was there the whole time! This gave me a deep level of peace that freed me from all of my efforts to get back to the mountain top.

When God is silent, it doesn’t mean he is absent, or even that he is teaching us some hard lesson. Sometimes he is inviting us to be quiet with him. Sometimes he just wants for us to rest and enjoy that he is, and that we are. When we discover the God who is there even when we don’t feel like he is, suddenly there is no more valley or mountaintop, only times that have lots of communication and experience, and times that are about resting in silence and peace. Interestingly, the revelation that I don’t need to chase what I already have, and that I don’t need to search for encounters, ushered me into a lot of encounters!

There is no more desert and there is no more valley. When we learn that God is trustworthy beyond our immediate physical senses, we can find the mountaintop and the promised land wherever we are, because wherever we are, He is there too!

 

Heartbreak

Here’s an old journal entry I recently stumbled across.  I don’t remember the specifics of the situation, but obviously I was hurting pretty bad!  I’m sure I was only writing to try and process the pain, but what came out was an anchor for the brokenhearted.  I hope it encourages you!

---

Heartbreak. This is the hardest state that I know of. In almost every other state good advice would be to “follow your heart”…but when your heart is torn into multiple pieces, all crying out for some sort of extreme action, what do you do? Do you bury things? Or do you let everything come out and wound the people around you? Do you cry, or find funny things to laugh at? What do you do when it hurts? This has been an enigma for me. My standard reaction to heartbreak is to withdraw and embrace self-destructive behavior. But what am I going to do now? What is the answer for a broken heart?

Acceptance. I accept that what happened, happened. I accept that what happened is not ok. I accept that I don’t know what to do, and I accept that I am perfectly acceptable in this place. This is where religion will destroy you, but God will lift you up…because if there is any distance that needs to be spanned in order to meet God, he might as well be a million miles away. When my heart is broken, I don’t need guilt, shame, or to analyze what portion of the blame I should be assigned. I don’t need to wonder if God is angry at me, or have any insecurity in that relationship. I need the God who is here.

I accept that God is here. In the midst of the chaos and the pain, and the rush of contradictory and violent emotions that flood through my being, I know that He is here, and His heart is big enough to hold me when my own cannot. So it’s not about what I do. It’s not about whether I shout or I cry, isolate myself or find comforters, lash out at others or numb myself and move on. When my heart is broken it is not about what I do, it is the knowledge that who I am is acceptable, that He sees me, He knows me, and He permits no dark cloud to hide me from his affection. Even the darkness is as noon to Him, and it is He that holds my days as well as my nights. I am allowed to feel what I feel without guilt because these feelings are just passing through. They are just temporary sounds that cannot silence the symphony of love that surrounds me.

It is God who gives life to my heart, and when it is healthy, it is my hearts beat that moves me to the rhythms of his grace. But when it is broken and no longer able to lead, I let my heart go on bypass and let his heart fill my veins. His heart is worthy to the task!

Our Peace

The world doesn’t need our paranoia. The world needs our peace.

When Jesus boarded a boat that was about to sail into a vicious storm, he could have done a lot of things. He could have been a prophet of approaching doom and told the disciples that they were about to enter a dangerous tempest. He could have warned them that they would need a special level of trust if they wanted to survive the ferocious waves. He could have used it as an opportunity to encourage self-reflection, to ask the disciples, “If you die tonight, do you know where you’ll be?” If he was truly clever he would have used the fearful situation for something, anything! — because we all know that fear makes for an attentive (and easily manipulated) audience. But instead, he just rested.

He slept, perhaps soaking in his Father’s love, or maybe just enjoying the dreamless sleep of the untroubled. When he was finally shaken awake by his panicking disciples, he did not abandon his rest and succumb to a fight or flight instinct. He merely looked out on the turmoil of the crashing waves and said, “Quiet! Be still.” And the waves listened. As the storm melted into tranquil seas, then and only then did Jesus proceed to teach a lesson. “Why were you so afraid? Do you not yet have faith in me?” Still trembling at what they had just witnessed, his disciples began to wonder, “Who is this, that even the wind and sea obey his voice?”

It would seem that the outbreak of peace had gotten their attention at a depth that even the fear of death could not penetrate.

---

Instead of looking at the confusion and fear around us and prophesying the doom that appears so inevitable, let’s try something different. Let’s remain at peace within the love of our Father. Let’s stay there, perhaps even ignoring the chaos as it builds. And when at last we are called into action and people are looking to us for answers, let’s act from our rest. Let’s confront the darkness with light, the fear with hope, and the confusion with the peace we have been cultivating all along!

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 (NIV)

Hope for the New Year

It’s almost the new year! This is a time where many of us set goals for our lives. You may anticipate this to be the year where you finally achieve success (however you may define that word). Maybe this is the year where you finally get in shape, finally kick that bad habit, or finally learn how to enjoy life to the fullest. As seductive as it may be to idealize next year as a year of fulfillment, I have a better declaration for you for the new year.

Your new year is not about achieving a goal. You are not a factory with a quota to fill. It is not about changing yourself into someone better. The God who created you didn’t make a mistake. No, this is a year for two words.

The first word is Today, because the promises of God are not about some far off event. They are about right now. In the midst of the mundane and the exciting, the frustrating and the interesting, today is the day that God loves you. Today is the day that goodness and mercy pursue you (Psalm 23:6). Today is the day that God’s Spirit is pleased to dwell in you. Today is the day that you are his beloved child. Today is the day that He will not leave you or forsake you. God is not waiting for you in the future. He is habitating your today. Let Him find you here!

The second word is Growth. You are not a factory, and there is no quota. You are a tree, planted by the Lord. However hectic the life of farmers may be, the life of a tree is simple. Drink up the water from your roots. Enjoy the sun on your leaves. Grow. It’s not yours to figure out what sort of tree you are, or what direction you should grow in. God already built into you everything he intends you to be. If you grow slowly, enjoy it! If you grow rapidly, enjoy it! In this year you get to drink from the subterranean river of God, which your roots can taste no matter what storm or drought may mar the surface. Drink from his goodness in every season, and enjoy the days of sunshine too! Let his wisdom, his love, and his peace saturate your roots, spread through your branches and leaves, and produce fruit for the nourishment of others!

Let God find you and breathe life into your todays, and drink up his love. You will grow!

Counterintuitive

 

Many important truths are the opposite of what would seem logical. Our logic puts confidence in what it can control and distrusts freedom. Our reasoning finds comfort in what it can understand and avoids the naked wonder of the unknown. Our values see the sacrifice of a few (soldiers, refugees, the generic “others”) as being necessary for the benefit of the many.

Then a child was born. A hope dawned. And our logic was exposed for its folly. When the Son of God laid down his control in order to free those that religion and respectable society oppressed. When Jesus preached in such a way that many left confused and with more questions than they had ever had…but also found their diseases healed and their hearts touched by love. And when the One for whom and through whom all things were made chose to die at the hands of violent men rather than forge a human kingdom in the necessary sacrifice of others. At this time, all that humanity had discarded as too weak, too sentimental, too emotional, too unrealistic turned out to be the very force that overcame the darkness of the human condition.

It turns out that when love is killed, it grows. When grace is given, purity is born. Now those of us who never sought God have been found by him, and those of us who fought against him have been given the place of honor at his victory feast! Only the logic of God would benefit the vanquished as much as the victor!

So cheers to the counterintuitive hope that is ours! Today we celebrate a child that was born. Today we rejoice in the son that was given!

“…and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end.” -Isaiah 9:6b-7

Are We Caught in a Cycle?

Are we just caught in a cycle? Is the suffering of yesterday a prophesy about tomorrow? Can there be an end to the logic of war that decides it is worth the deaths of our young men and women, and their young men and women, and the countless civilians who get caught in the crossfire, and the displacement of people and widespread poverty…in order to protect us from danger? As if these countless deaths aren’t a danger worth avoiding…

Is there a path out of the distrust that leads to division that leads to conflict that leads to war and death? Are we, like generations past, destined to fight and kill our brothers and sisters, just because we were born in different places under different ruling powers who can’t find a way to coexist? Is that our future?

It is easy to understand why so many Christians are fatalistic on this point. If the people with all the money and political power can’t find a path to peace, what can we do? It is easier to prophesy peace for another time when Jesus comes back. But what if he’s already here? What if we are his hands and feet? What if his Spirit has been liberally poured out on us? What if Jesus told us that we would do even greater things than he did? What if we held keys that could unlock peace? What if we are the catalyst?

You don’t have control. But you do have influence. You have friends. You know people. And those people know people. And in one way or another you are connected to people who will be pulled to the opposite side and become your enemy if worst came to worst. You are not a spectator in humanity’s unfolding drama. You are an actor. The steps you take leave footprints for others to follow. So what can you do?

When the Facebook world becomes rife with political divisions, conspiracy theories, and excuses to disconnect, choose to engage positively. Find a reason for hope. Find laughter. Find the beauty in humanity, and share it with your friends. When our communities are in conflict and racial or religious tension builds, be a bridge builder. Make friends with people from the other side. Learn about their culture. Listen to their stories, and share your own. Find the person behind the stereotype, and tell others what you find. And when fear threatens to derail your own peace and make you a prisoner to your own protective instinct, remember Jesus, who “for the joy set before him” endured the cross. Remember the man who sacrificed his own life for people who didn’t even want him. Rejected, despised, brutally beaten and crucified, his words were “forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing”. Remember that the tragedy that begot our victory was the sacrificing of the one sinless life on behalf of the sinful, not the other way around. And remember that when perfect love was finally extinguished and all hope seemed gone, it was only the opening act to a reborn love and eternal hope!

We are not bound by the cycle. We’re are not helplessly being led to destruction. Church, we have a voice! We have hands and feet! let’s use them to show love and mercy. Let’s walk in the Spirit of the one who would rather die for the many than send others to their deaths, and let’s resurrect hope in the hopeless, and peace in the confusion! Let’s use the influence we do have to establish peace, allowing God to grow it!

“Every warrior’s boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire. For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end.” -Isaiah 9:5-7a